Aftermath
by estrafalaria103
Summary: Immediately following Miranda. See how the crew did in the infirmary, through their first task following the massive takedown. All doesn't come up roses for our heroes as Mal/Inara and Kaylee/Simon explore their relationships, River her life, and Zoe life
1. Chapter 1

_**Number one, I don't own anything. Number two, no Chinese here, because I always thought that Chinese swearing was the hokiest thing on the show, and besides, I don't know any Chinese. So good, old, American type swearing will replace it.**_

_**Enjoy! Review! Relish!**_

Inara felt guilty, walking through the hospital. She felt guilty, seeing all of her friends, her comrades, strapped to beeping machines, oxygen tubes tucked into noses and down throats. She felt guiltiest when she saw River. The two of them, alone, had survived Miranda unscathed.

River, at least, had fought. River at least had been willing to die. She had faced a darkness that, to Inara's mind at least, was far worse than death. And what had she done? She'd hid behind a pile of boxes and then pointed out that the lift wasn't working. Hardly earning her keep.

She pressed her hand against the window into the infirmary, took a deep breath. She had to prepare herself to walk among those beds. Had to every day. Just then the door slid open, and River skipped out.

"Hello," River said, her eyes downcast. Inara nodded at her. Before she could say anything, River glanced up again, a mischevious look in her eyes. "They're awake now," she said. "I like it better when they're sleeping. Not as loud."

Inara laughed a little, and glanced in again. Sure enough, Jayne was pushing himself up, pulling the sensors off his arms in irritation. It had been the same for the past three days. Yesterday the nurses had ignored him, and waited until he fell asleep again to replace the little probes.

"They're all awake?" Inara asked. She instantly wished she hadn't, as River began to tremble.

"Not Simon," River said. "Simon doesn't ever wake up. Simon won't ever wake up."

"Don't say that," Inara said, her tone gentle. "Simon will be fine. He's receiving the very best medical attention."

"No, he's not," River said, a near-snarl on her delicate face. "He's not, because Simon _is_ the best. He wasn't just top 3%. He was top. No one better. No one better. Better doctor, better brother, no, no, no."

"Shh, shh," Inara placed a calming hand on the girl's shoulder. But, as fast the mood had come upon her, River seemed to shrug it off. She smiled up at Inara. "Mal's awake," she said chipperly, and began skipping down the hallway. Inara sighed. She was beginning to agree with River. It was much easier to visit the infirmary when everyone was asleep.

Unfortunately, Jayne had noticed her, and was eagerly waving at her from his bed. He leaned over to the sleeping forms on either side of him and pushed at their shoulders. Inara sighed and entered the infirmary.

Kaylee was in the first bed, unfortunately next to Jayne, and being pushed into wakefulness. Inara smiled as the girls' nose wrinkled, and she batted ineffectualy at Jayne's hands. The darts that had been shot into the mechanic's neck had been poisoned, but the Alliance had the antidote. Inara had the sneaking suspicion that Kaylee was allowed to leave, but felt uncomfortable leaving the infirmary with all of her friends in it.

Jayne, of course, was itching to leave. The doctors had told him three days, and Inara doubted he would last through the entire day. He had just noticed the probes on his chest, and was occupied pulling them off, muttering something about hair, baldness, and Pekinese cats. Luckily, it kept his mind off Inara, giving her a moment to finish her examination of the infirmary.

Next to Jayne was Zoe, awake and staring at the ceiling. She was in a specially erected bed, with springform cut out along her spine, making it comfortable for her to lie on her back, despite her injury. She blinked slowly, deliberately, as if she had to remember how to do it. She hadn't spoken since the Alliance had picked them up.

Across from Zoe was the one figure that hadn't opened his eyes at all. Inara's eyes skipped over Simon's inert figure quickly. He made her feel guiltiest. Not only was he the most injured, but he was like her. He was a Healer. But he'd been willing to fight, willing to fire a gun to save the people he'd cared about. And when nobody had been willing to go through the blast door, he'd been the one to stand up, his concern for everyone else overshadowing his own danger.

Somewhere in the back of her heart she'd known what River had said. Simon was the best. Some of the healings he'd done on the ship had been near-miraculous, given his lack of supply. It just wasn't right that the medic couldn't be properly treated.

And next to Simon was. . .oh, damn it, his eyes were open. River had warned her of course, but still. Inara was less than pleased to see Mal staring at her. There was an accusation in those eyes.

"Damn nurses," Jayne growled. Inara whipped her head back to look at him. "Poking needles in places they don't belong. . .sticking me full of. . .what the hell is this even?" He roared, pulling the oxygen tube out of his nose.

"That's to help you breathe," Kaylee pointed out. "They're just tryin' to help you."

"Well. . .they should. . .help less," Jayne said. Inara smiled. Kaylee laughed. Jayne, as per usual, looked confused.

"Still here, Inara?" Mal asked from across the way. "Haven't left yet?"

"Mal, please," Kaylee pleaded. Inara didn't turned around, she just smiled gently at the mechanic.

"I won't leave as long as I am needed here," Inara said. "This is my home."

"It's my shuttle," Mal pointed out.

"And I pay rent," Inara said, turning around and glaring at the captain. "Besides, this is hardly the place to be having this argument."

"Please," Zoe said. Everyone's eyes swivelled to look at the room, amazed at hearding the first words she'd spoken in days. "At least it's normal."

"Zoe!" Kaylee burst out in excitement.

"Hey!" Jayne suddenly exclaimed. "This is great! Everyone's back to normal, we can finally leave this place!:

"Jayne," Mal said warningly.

"What?" Jayne asked. The big man had already slung his legs out of his bed, and was stretching his brawny arms high above his head.

"Not _everyone_ is back to normal," Inara pointed out.

"Who – oh, the doc," Jayne's face fell for a moment, but then he shrugged it off. "Hell, even his sister don't think he'll be okay, and she's psychic."

Inara saw Kaylee, out of the corner of her eye, start to intensely inspect her fingernails. Poor girl, the companion thought. It was so hard to lose your first love. . .

"Jayne does have a point, though," Mal said with a sigh. "If the doc isn't ready tomorrow, we'll still be leaving."

Nobody argued. Kaylee's eyes watered up, and Inara went over to put an arm around the young woman's shoulders. Not many people recovered from a gunshot wound to the chest, even when it was treated immediately. It was a miracle that Simon was even alive. Maybe, Inara thought, this was the best they could hope for. Maybe waking up was a miracle even God couldn't handle.


	2. The Funeral

Everyone was tiptoeing around her, and Zoe was sick of it. Her injury was healed, and it wasn't as though she was the only one who had lost anything. They'd _all _lost Wash. He'd belonged to everyone, not just her. Yet everyone was acting as though she was some kind of a fragile, breakable figurine. River had lost a brother. Kaylee had lost a. . .well. . .whatever Simon was to her.

"Hey, Zoe!" It was Jayne, of course, who acted the most normal. He nearly skidded into the bridge, falling into a wall before he righted himself. "Come quick! You know that miracle Inara's always talking about? It's finally happened!"

Zoe nodded her head, checked the instruments one last time to make sure everything was on the level – which it was, of course. River was a better pilot than her late husband, even she was willing to admit, and Kaylee had been working double hours ever since Miranda, so the ship didn't so much as hiccup before it had been soothed and fixed. Certain that the ship was on track, she followed the mercenary back toward the infirmary, interested in what exactly the miracle would be.

Upon entering the med room she was met with a sight that brought tears to her eyes. Everyone was clustered around the central bed, where Simon had been ever since they'd brought him back from the Alliance med chamber. River was seated on the right hand side of his bed, right near his pillow, where she'd been pretty much permanently, except with flying. On his left hand side Kaylee was kneeling, her face pressed into the young man's shoulder. Mal stood back slightly, his arm around Inara, and Jayne was practically leaping up and down in the middle of the room. Simon, meanwhile, turned a beautific smile toward her. When he took in her visage, it slowly dropped.

"Zoe. . ." he said lowly. "I'm so sorry. . ."

And that was it, it was just too much, this beautiful young boy who'd had a hole ripped out of his chest, who'd given up career, family, and a life that he loved, who'd been forced to admit that his sister had been lobotimized and turned into an assassin, turning and telling her that he was sorry.

"We _all _lost him!" Zoe exclaimed, and suddenly she couldn't see the scene anymore, not through the tears in her eyes. "Didn't we all lose him? Didn't he mean anything to anyone but me?"

"Zoe, of course he did!" Inara exclaimed, at the same time that Mal said "He was part of the _crew_" and Kaylee said "I _loved_ him."

"He was all right," Jayne said, which Zoe knew was as much as she could get out of him.

"Then stop acting like I'm the only one who lost anything!"

Zoe turned and left the room. She didn't run until she'd gotten away from the windows, away from where anyone could see her. Then she ran, ran like she hadn't run since her army days, maybe not since her grammar school days. She ran just to run, just to be free, just to be far, far away from those pitying looks, those sad eyes, the sight of everyone _together_—River, sane now, calm, comprehending; Kaylee's tears on Simon's shoulder; Mal's arm around Inara; Jayne, clueless as ever. . .

Yes, they'd all lost someone. But she seemed to be the only one who hadn't gained anything in return.

* * * * *

"Poor Zoe," Kaylee said. She brushed away the last of her tears with the back of her hand, straightened her spine a little.

"She's right," Inara said. Everyone turned to look at the Companion, even Jayne somewhat hushed by Zoe's uncharacteristic outburst. "We have all lost. A lot. But we're pretending that we haven't, that Zoe's the only one who is missing anyone."

"We lost crew," Mal agreed. "We should remember him."

"And Shepherd," Kaylee said. "Definitely Shepherd."

"Mr. Universe," River said. "All of those other people. Poor people, dying for a secret they didn't even know they were protecting."

"I'll put together some stones," Jayne said. "Won't be pretty, though."

"None of them were pretty men," Mal said. "Not hung up on appearances." Kaylee remembered Wash's shirts, those floral prints which always brought a little life, a little color to the grey Firefly.

"It could be pretty, though," Simon said thoughtfully. "Could be beautiful. Jayne!" The doctor winced as he turned toward the mercenary. Kaylee immediately reached out and grabbed his arm, offering what minimal support she could. She herself felt almost as good as new—even the scars were fading from her neck. No surprise, she thought, as Simon didn't even acknowledge her.

"Huh?" Jayne said, turning around. Ever a man of action, Kaylee thought wryly, he was already going to get his hands dirty.

"You remember," Simon said urgently. "When we went to Ariel, when I was looking at River's brain. . .you remember what that looked like?"

"Colors, light, like a television without a screen," Jayne said, almost fondly. "Real shiny."

"I could replicate that, with their visages," Simon said. He turned to Mal. "I just need a picture, a memory card. . .something. . ."

Mal gently let go of Inara, his hand sliding along her shoulder as he wordlessly went out the door. Simon settled back, breathing a little harder. Kaylee reached up, not sure if she dared. She bit her lip, and brushed her hand across his forehead, moving his bangs out of his eyes. Simon looked at her, a curious expression in his blue, blue eyes.

Swell, Kaylee thought bitterly. Was she the only one who remembered something about sex being mentioned?

She stayed in the infirmary all afternoon, helping Simon connect and reconnect wires and reflective surfaces. For all of his confidence earlier, he wasn't completely certain how to create the visages. All for the best, though, Kaylee realized, as it kept her mind and hands occupied. She wasn't sure what everyone else had been up to, but when Jayne came in to announce that he was ready. He'd dolled himself up a bit, Kaylee noticed, his arm still in a sling beneath the clean coat he'd scavenged somewhere.

"We're done, too," she said brightly, standing. But Simon's hand prevented her from walking out the door. "What?" she asked, a note of hope entering her voice. Was he asking her to stay? Was he admitting how he felt?

"Hold on," he said. "I'm coming, too."

"That's ridiculous!" Jayne protested. "You ain't been on your feet in days. You were shot!"

"So were you," Simon pointed out. He gestured with his head toward the back closet. "There's a crutch in there," he said. "That'll be enough."

"Simon, I really don't think this is a good idea," Kaylee said, wincing with every muttered oath that he made as he pulled himself to his feet. She certainly wasn't going to help him, what with him being lamebrained and everything. Still, somehow he got upright, if a bit wobbly. Taking pity on him, she went to his free side, gently held his elbow and guided him out the door.

* * * * *

Jayne didn't like funerals. He didn't like funerals, he didn't like tears, and he didn't much care for dead people either. But something felt right, standing on the barren cliff, with Wash's smiling face in front of him. Hell, something felt right about little Kaylee and the doc holding hands, River standing on her own, Inara and Mal so close. Something felt right about Zoe standing in bride's white rather than widow's black.

Then again, he thought as Zoe laid the flowers down beside the visage of her late husband, maybe the only thing that felt right was the gun at his hip and the cigar in his mouth.

Two things that always, _always_ felt right.


End file.
